endings schmendings

I miss you. This evening was difficult, and I am not exactly sure why. Maybe I am slowly realizing that Dordt is now the past and the world is my future. My system of friends is still in place and we are keeping in contact, as much as busy summer schedules allow, but it is different. New friends are in the future, I know that. I have learned that. In one of my social work classes this past semester we ended the class by talking about how we each handle ending things. I handle them horribly; even if I am not directly involved in the thing that is ending, I sometimes take it hard. Ending high school was great; I did not cry the last day nor did I cry at graduation, but I did cry for three days when the first of my friends left. I cried that whole week before. "This is our last Thursday together..." Yes, I was that girl. I cried on the drive down to Iowa, I cried my first couple of nights at Dordt, but then my schema adjusted and I started to really enjoy myself. I know the same thing will happen now, or at least I am hypothesizing so. I cried leaving Dordt, I cried leaving my roommates and friends, and I cried on the drive home. I am sure Chicago will bring tears but I am not afraid of those tears. When I really sit down and think about what is changing, however, I get scared. I hate ending things, but I know beginning things can be amazing.